i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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