OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
