The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
