please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
