I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
