I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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