I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
