would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
