Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
