Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
