covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Randomize
