she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
