When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
