One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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