It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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