wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you didnt know i had herpes?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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