What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
