We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I don't deserve a penis
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
