I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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