so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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