DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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