You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
