I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
