No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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