its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
