She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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