ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
