I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Still dying that you shit outside
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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