You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
