Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
COCAINE IS GR8
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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