why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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