He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
