listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
