my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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