My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
