I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
