Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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