no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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