My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Naked Twister starts at high noon
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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