I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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