All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
