Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
