her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
