Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
