she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
