I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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