i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
