apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
