You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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