Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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