I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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