You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
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